The Intergalactic Adventures of Big Buff Cheeto Puff and Space Dorito
by Ways
Summary: Peridot and Jasper will be making their way through the show as well as other nonsensical events in the best way they know how, by annoying the heck out of each other!


**I don't use Tumblr much but I just went there for a little bit and found these nicknames. That spawned this fic. So enjoy another one of my weird parodies.**

 **The Intergalactic Snack Filled Escapades of Big Buff Cheeto Puff and Space Dorito-**

 **Chapter 1:**

 **We are the Home World Gems**

"So is the mission clear?" Yellow diamond asked us.

"Yes, my leige." Lapis, Peridot and Jasper told the gem of such incredible power.

"Good." Yellow Diamond smile. "You know what you must do, use one of our spaceships, go to earth and finish the job.'

And the three did that.

"Now remember what Yellow Diamond said." Jasper told the other two, particularly Peridot. "She wants to see Rose Quartz."

"That's what you want, Jasper." Peridot rolled her eyes. "Yellow Diamond wants us to check on the cluster."

"What is the cluster, anyways?" Lapis asked.

Peridot shrugged. "I don't know, but we use that word just to get the fandom excited when they pick up on these little details, they won't really know what it means until the next season in the episode 'Keeping it Together.'"

"You know what would be fun guys?" Lapis asked.

Jasper shrugged. "What?"

Lapis grinned. "If we sang the fun song! F is for-"

"No that's completely ridiculous." Peridot said. "Why would we sing anything from animated programs meant for children, it's not like actual real artists would sing them."

"But doesn't Estelle sing 'Stronger Than You?'" Jasper asked.

Peridot pinched the ridge of her nose. "That hasn't happened yet, Jasper. And besides, we're supposed to call her Garnet, not Estelle. Keep things in universe."

"Don't tell me what to do." Jasper rolled her eyes. "I'll break the fourth wall as much as I feel like it."

"Yeah, don't be such a party pooper, Peridot." Lapis agreed.

Peridot grumbled.

"So when does this totally radical intergalactic road trip end, Peridot?" Lapis asked, clinging onto the girl like some sort of lifeline.

"When did we become Ben 10: Omniverse?" Jasper asked.

"To answer Lapis' question, we'll be arriving on earth in approximately 250 words and to answer Jasper's question, that would probably be around the time I showed up to check on earth's galaxy warp." Peridot confirmed.

Lapis then proceeded to lick Peridot, as she still clinged on to her.

"Lapis, what in Yellow Diamond's name are you doing?" Peridot asked. "Get off of me!"

Lapis grinned and shook her head. "I'm giving the shippers what they want."

"What?" Peridot asked.

Jasper was the one to answer. "Oh well you see, the people of our pathetic little fandom ship the two of you together."

"What!?" Peridot screamed. "Why would they do that!? When have I ever shown romantic interest for Lapis or anyone for that matter?"

Lapis shook her head. "it doesn't matter the important thing is that we love each other forever!"

And with that she gave Peridot a giant bear hug.

Lapis then turned to Jasper as she was hugging Peridot. "Now quick Jasper, take the picture on that smart phone you stole and post it to Tumblr."

Jasper shrugged and did as Lapis said.

Once the picture was taken Lapis quickly pushed Peridot away and let out a sigh of relief. "Phew, that outta hold out the Lapidot shippers for about a week. At least while I'm on earth I can like molest Steven or something to satisfy those Stapis Lazuli fans."

Peridot just shook her head. "I'm not even going to ask."

"PERIDOT! WHEN ARE WE GETTING TO EARTH!" Jasper shouted, getting suddenly angry for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

"We have just entered earth's atmosphere." Peridot confirmed.

With that Opal tried to fire arrows on their massive hand ship but it did absolutely nothing.

Jasper chuckled. "Pathetic Fusions. It's just a cheap tactic to make weak gems stronger. They should quit embarrasing themselves and show us what they really are."

"Again, the episode Jailbreak hasn't happened yet, Jasper." Peridot groaned. "Please stop referencing it."

Jasper shrugged. "It's not my fault. I'm just reciting the lines in this terrible script for this convoluted parody fanfic. It's not m fault that he has no imagination and just rips lines straight from the show."

"He calls himself Ways?" Lapis laughed. "That must be an acronym for What. ."

Peridot ignored how bad that was and just landed the handship.

"Alright, we're here." Peridot said. "How are we going to make our enterance?"

Jasper smirked. "I've got this, just follow my lead."

Outside the ship, the Crystal Gems all huddled protectively around Steven.

Suddenly a spotlight shone down on the Homeworld Gem craft. Jasper who was wearing a fedora, a suit and a cane in her hands started. She her hap tipped down over her head so that it covered her eyes.

" _We…"_

Suddenly Lapis and Peridot appeared next to her, both of them in similar outfits.

" _Are the Homeworld Gems!"_

They then began doing a kick line twirling their canes around.

" _Here to enslave your race!"_

They all formed their weapons: Jasper her warhelmet which ended up tearing open her fedora; Lapis let out a giant hand of water and Peridot her arm cannon.

" _And if you think we can't?"_

Jasper then slammed one of her gigantic fists into her opened palm.

" _We'll punch you in the face!"_

Jasper then sang her part alone.

" _That's why the people of your world…"_

Together they all joined hands and grinned.

" _Will bow to!"_

Lapis then formed her wings and did a little twirl in the air.

" _Lapis!"_

Peridot shot her down and smiled next to her.

" _Peridot!"_

Jasper then slid down on her knees so that she ended up on the fingertips of the hand ship.

" _AND JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRR!"_

"AND STEVEN!" Steven beamed, to which all the homeworld gems and Crystal Gems gave him weird looks.

"Ew, no. Never you." Jasper said, now back in her normal clothes. "In fact what are you?"

Steven pouted. "Well it doesn't matter, you guys have to do a full extended version of that complete with you guys running along the beach to filler musc while memories from previous episodes show."

The three homeworld gems looked at each other at that and shrugged.

"Maybe at Comic Con." Lapis said.

"Yo man, does any of this make sense?" Amethyst asked.

Pearl laughed. "Of course it does, Amethyst. Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm so confused." Garnet facepalmed.

"Well it doesn't matter." Jasper said. "Cuz we're going to get you."

"No you won't!" Steven shouted and with that he formed his shield.

Jasper gasped. "YOU HAVE THE POWER OF ROSE QUARTZ!"

"Yeah I do!" Steven grinned.

Jasper jumped off the ship and stood in front of Steven. "That means I have the right to beat you into the ground even though you're a child that's no older than the age of twelve! AWESEOME!"

Garnet came running at Jasper to stop her.

"Ew, don't make me laugh you disgusting Fusion!" Jasper laughed as she pulled out the gem destablizer and zapped Garnet leaving her as Ruby and Sapphire."

"Well crap." Pearl said. She then put her hands up. "Alright, you defeated Garnet, we surrender because we both know that you could easily defeat us."

"Yeah…" Amethyst mumbled, still completely confused.

"Great, let me just head butt this kid so we can keep it close to the original episode as possible!" Jasper grinned.

Steven's eyes widened at that. "Wait wha-"

And with that, Jasper head butted Steven, giving him a black eye and leaving him unconcious.

 **End Chapter.**

 **Dear lord, that was probably one of the stupidest things I have EVER written. But it was similar to Code LMFOCLETWLITD and people seem to like that for some reason, so I guess some people will like and even laugh at this too? (That one emoticon) *Shrug* I don't know. If you found this funny leave me a review. If not, I don't know let me know what I could do better next time.  
Caio.**


End file.
